27 - 001

Dear Diary,

26 was a bad year — a lot of debts, a relationship that should’ve lasted a lifetime but that ended up lasting a couple of months, a lot of friends that left, a lot of friends I left… In all of these, I lied a lot(to myself) I cheated myself of the best I could offer. And now, it seems like it’s too late. But 27 feels like the start of every beautiful thing I will get in life and the rebirth of every other wonderful thing that had kicked the bucket. I’m not growing younger yet, I’m not old. I’m just perfect and ready to seize the day to best of my ability.

I am still uncertain about a lot of things but the focus is on the ones I’m certain about and the things I can do to alter the course of happenings or bring positive changes to my life. Not worrying about the things I can’t change — for like I always say, I am falling in love with the destination. I am welcoming 27 like a toddler hugging his mom — I am that enthusiastic. I have let go the days of pessimism and negativity. I might become a little more narcissistic but deep inside me, I am not that bad.

I am drying up this pool of stagnancy. I already started with Spanish and Swahili and hopefully, I won’t give up once more. Love? It comes to me naturally. I lost the trust others had in me and I’m not even trying to build that back because it’ll be hard. But if I can be a trustworthy person henceforth, I could make genuine friendships and connections that won’t suffer from my many vices. About vices, I have been working on them a lot. There’s a lot of them I’m even afraid to tell you about. But know that each new day comes with a new zeal to become better. I am naming 27 as my year of exuberance because I’ve been in the closet for so long. I need to be my own light and then, the world can see me shine.

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