Daily Diary

October 9th

Dear Diary,

Been thinking about it for a while and I am very certain that there is no such thing as a balance of interest or devotion in every sort of human interaction. When a man and a woman get together, for the most part, it was the man who put in more effort to get the woman, and when they start dating, there still never is balance be it of power, interest, devotion or entitlement. One party always does more — one party always wants more. And it is in this light that I have come to understand that there is nothing like a consensual termination of relationships or any sort — one party mostly ever imposes their ideas and desires upon the other. It is always an osmosis situation.

Yesterday, I was stood up by a friend I was supposed to visit. She said she slept off. It makes sense but in the event that it was a more important person visiting, she wouldn’t just sleep off but wait anxiously for the person. It doesn’t make me feel bad but just makes me to understand my position on her scale of preference(if I am even on it). It goes back to the fundamental rule of loving those who love you, or doing things for those who do things for you, or something. But my point is that we often accord too much importance to the wrong things and to the wrong people. Though it’s said that we need to do unto others what we expect of them, we just can’t spend our lives being(or feeling) unwanted(rejected).

CHRONICLE 9

Tried turning the page

But the ink had stained the whole book.

So I tried changing the book but I couldn’t find one.

And when I found a new book,

I couldn’t find a new pen.

Dear Diary, keep my thoughts as secret as news can be…