Daily Diary

August 1st

Dear Diary,

I am sorry but I have been letting a lot of people read you. What was supposed to be a we time between you and me, has become an us time — you, me and the crowd. I think they want my stories more than you at this point because they are always waiting for the next scribblings my mind and hands shall produce. But the crazy part of the story is how they manage to relate to each one of them. It feels like I’m living a life for me and at least 100 others — because how does my boring life resonate with so many people?

Every new month, I take up new challenges that I try to pull through with. This month, I want to brush my teeth every night before going to bed. Sounds doable until you wake up at 3 a.m. to find out you didn’t do it for the previous night. I know because it’s happened to me a couple of times and I hope my babe doesn’t find out. Added to the brushing, I’d love to do push ups daily for this month. I know you can’t talk but when I read you in some months and find put I didn’t respect what I put in writing, I’ll be ashamed of myself.

The “domino effect” says that little efforts and successes can help in achieving greater success. So, as undisciplined as I am, and a master in the science of procrastination, I have decided to take one step at a time. For now, let’s focus on pushups and night brushing.

I can remember the little things that used to make us happy as kids — seeing the rainbow, playing under the rain, playing on a seesaw, etc. It’s August and my younger self would’ve hated the month because it reminded me that school was just a month away. I know most people loved to go back to school and meet their friends and classmates, but I loved the holidays because I got to spend time with my cousins. Looking back at it, we didn’t do any grandiose things but the fulfillment was in being with the people you loved and that really mattered.

Do you always have these cravings for foods that immediately turn to disgust midway into you eating them? That happens to me all the time when I eat Koki or canned sardine. It means that some things are not just meant for us. And sometimes, we try to force them and that’s why they end the way they do.

In the end, what does this cold weather want from us? Because I really don’t get it. Why won’t we keep screaming weather for two when this cold eats right into our bone marrow? But we know the solutions to these pseudo problems we have. There is even a greater temptation in abstention.

Dear Diary, keep my thoughts as secret as news can be…