Daily Diary
August 2nd, 3rd & 4th
Dear Diary,
Today, I woke up a bit annoyed and in pain. Yesterday, we had a small football encounter, what we popularly call small pole between the boys of our choir and those of a sister choir in our church. It is from this encounter that I remembered why I stopped playing football. My shin was greatly hurt. So I slept in pain. But I also slept with the smile that I have been doing things that I would most often shy away from. Amongst these things was my desire to conduct during mass on Sunday. I wont say I did a very good job, but I tried at least. Like thy ey say, the fear of death is greater than death itself. And so, I am conquering my fears and in some way, conquering my death.
This evening, after the English lesson with my student, he told me while walking me to the roadside that I should think of leaving the country because my talents are too good for Cameroon. This is the nth person telling me this and somehow, I get to wonder why people often tend to believe in me this much. I feel like I often underrate myself too much. Maybe I should reassess my worth?
I read on Twitter that when you fall you get back up because having hope doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen to you, but that when they do happen, you will stand right up and try again and again and again. That’s one problem with me — I often give up too easily. But I’m happy that with each new day, comes a new lesson. And so, I am not only learning, but putting these lessons into application.
On Tuesday, I got too lazy to confide in you but this is what happened…
I had a date with my new favorite person and like always, it was a joy. One would think that these dates are what makes me happy. It’s the amount of quality time I get to spend with her. We could be walking down the street and it’d still feel like the best thing for me. We could just be holding hands as we go down an abandoned footpath. Or just sitting together in a quiet place. The idea of a date well spent is a date spent with someone you really like and that is my new favorite person.
My Tuesday was filled with chats and thoughts and moments with her. And in all this, it seems to me like a honeymoon phase. But the funny thing is that it’s a honeymoon I don’t want to end. Some people have said and keep saying that the tension will eventually die down and we won’t be this attracted to ourselves in some months. But I think it’s a lie and because people stop fighting and working for what they want, once they’ve gotten it. No more sweet words/messages, no pre going out of your way to make your partner happy. Anything that is not taken care of will eventually fade like a flower unattended to.
On Wednesday, I got too lazy to confide in you but this is what happened…
I had to teach my student and on arrival, I saw him listening to some songs I had recommended just 2 days ago. It was a beautiful sight because most people claim they want to do stuff and when time comes for them to do it, they bail. It warms my heart to see that my student is very much interested and engaged in learning English. The only fear I sometimes have is that I might not be such a good teacher. But the good news is that if I am not that bad and with his overzealous desire to learn, we can meet halfway and achieve his goals.
I sometimes feel lonely and alone because my friends seem to have forgotten me. That’s what happens when you are the less successful one amongst them. I have started to believe more in the expression there are no permanent friends or enemies — just permanent interests and my goal is to focus only on my interests henceforth.
Dear Diary, keep my thoughts as secret as news can be…
