Daily Diary

July 7th

Dear Diary,

In March, I met someone who I immediately got attracted to and it persisted for over 3 months. During all this time, I got to know her more and like her more. We have had talks on different topics and I have found her points of view interesting. I love to listen to her talk. Last week, she asked me what impact she has had on my life and though I said a lot of things, I didn’t mention that it’s because I met her that the desire to hustle more and become a better person intensified. So when she asked me what gave me the idea of a Daily Diary on Medium, I didn’t just tell her that it was her — I am journaling these experiences so I could come back to them one day.

I learned a new word today and it perfectly describes how I feel most of the time.

Does this make me a sucker for love and pain? I guess it does. But while admitting that the feeling of being in love and caring deeply for somebody is very enticing, it is also necessary to admit that people are not always there. So what do we do when they eventually leave? Or what do we do if they are not present when we need them? And then, people get bored or down too. What happens when that happens?

This evening, I had a long walk and talked with a friend and she is one of the reasons I believe good people still exist. But while we pray to find these good people, we must be ready for when they come our way. Because when we are only at the receiving end, it isn’t sure to last. But then again, reciprocity can never be equal. If we can have some sort of reciprocity that shows gratitude and effort, then things could work.

And whilst we are living life, we can only try to be too careful. Anything can happen. Like J Martins said, “Make we do our best, Papa God go handle the rest” That’s one reason why I don’t like perfectionists. There should be the possibility for some margin of error. Since we all agreed that nobody is perfect, we should stop trying to live perfect lives.

Dear Diary, keep my thoughts as secret as news can be…