Do first impressions matter?
Do not judge a book by the cover. An expression that has many at times been used to justify unruly behaviour or to chastise good people. This is something we've been hearing all our lives. A person who dresses promiscuously isn't necessarily a slut and a person who goes to church isn't necessarily a Christian or won't necessarily make heaven. I love how well put this expression is in French. Because as it may seem, most of us don't take the full meaning of this assertion or proverb. In French they say: "L'habit ne fait pas le moine mais c'est à ça qu'on l'identifie" Which in English would literally mean: "The dress doesn't define the monk but it's with it that we identify him" And yes! We shouldn't judge books by their covers but sometimes it's hard not to. After all, a priest wears a cassock and a robber wears a mask. What therefore are first impressions and why do they matter? If they do at all...
In psychology, a first impression is the event when one person first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. You've probably heard people ask you: "What was your first impression of me?" And you've also asked people this question. First impressions are so innate that you don’t even need to form them. They just form by themselves. And this takes us to the point I was making in the first paragraph. But do these impressions matter? And how true are they often for the most part?
You've surely heard of instincts and how you should follow them right? Well... Mostly that's correct. Sometimes... I won't say so. Basically, your impressions of someone are built by your instincts. They are telling you just two things: either to like or dislike the person from the very basis. But why do I find a need to like or dislike a person I barely even know?
It's crazy how much energy people put into this first impressions thing. It's also important. For example, I won't want to go visit my in-laws to be on the first meeting looking shabby and unkempt. My prospective employer won't even hire me if he saw me in jeans and a a T-shirt instead of the standard office attire. Who'll take a girl seriously if she dressed like a prostitute?(Some will ask how prostitutes dress) All of these go to say that though you shouldn't judge a book by the cover, the cover says a lot about the book. Who has abandoned a book after looking just at the cover? I have... On several occasions. Because apart from the religious, how many others put on cassocks?
In a nutshell, I'm saying first impressions do matter. And a lot sometimes. So always do well to make the first impression be the right one. But there are exceptional cases. Because a first impression is not enough to ascertain a person's behaviour or lifestyle. A first impression shouldn't impact your views and have a lifelong impact on your relationship with a person. Because most at times, first impressions are selfish, biased and wrong.
The problem with this first impression is that when they get to know you more or better, they say: "I didn't know you were like this or expect you to be like this..." Shaking my head.
What do you think? What was your first impression of me?
