Should you be ashamed of your partner?
Yesterday while scrolling down the TL on Twitter, I saw this tweet from my sister: "Normalise asking your friends "Do you like him?" instead of "What does he do?"" And I couldn't but ponder on it. Between 2012 and 2015, I experienced one of the best relationships I've ever been opportune to witness. Put this way, you might think I was the person in the relationship. LOL... It was my best friend and his girlfriend. Their love made me jealous. I couldn't wait to find that girl who'd compliment me and make me whole and happy. They literally had each other's backs. I'd never seen something so wonderful before. Talk of couple goals... What intrigued me is how selfless their love was given that my friend had nothing and this his girlfriend was oblivious to that. They just loved themselves in the tiniest and mightiest of ways. Sad thing is that every good thing has an end and as theirs came to an end, I found myself hating the girl and doubting love. Because truthfully speaking, if theirs could break, I don't see any other thing not breaking at all.
Years after that sad event, I met these friends in Dschang who've proven to just be as madly as madly in love with themselves like the others or even more than the others. I've had the opportunity to have the front row view in both relationships and even lent my services as a relationship coach every now and then. These relationships were and are beautiful. It's true that the first one didn't end well but I am still a witness to such selfless love. And with these new friends, I can't but pray for them. I hope they end well. Because their ending will determine what I should make of happy endings. And you're probably wondering why I'm talking about others relationships and not mine. Well... Seems my sister and I were sent to earth to be spectators in matters that concern the heart. Or of you'd like it in a subtler tone, "Coaches don't play".
But I can't only talk about other relationships without a personal experience - one that happened to me. In 2015 and 2016, I too had this kind of beautiful relationship. There's this girl which I prefer to call only by the initials of her name, AM. She was so kind and nice and respectful. She didn't ask for any other thing but for my love which I wasn't ready to give. I loved her but she was in love with me. I wondered why she could love me even though o had nothing to show for. I wasn't swag nor rich nor popular. Just some fellow who had been told he's smart. So surprised that I could be ever lived he way I was loved, I decided to end things. Still the biggest relationship mistake I ever made. Maybe I was wondering why a despicable person such as myself should be loved at all. When I look back to this, I am tempted to refute the modern claims that if you don't have money, you can't find true love. Maybe these girls were, are the last of that species of genuine lovers.
But why should you even be ashamed of someone you are with? I've never understood why people and girls in particular, mostly never present the people they're dating. You even see them take pictures in which they've cut off the person's face. A girl who doesn't show off her partner even to her family and friends. I even saw celebrities cut off their fiancé's faces on pictures shortly after they got engaged. It's sad. Girls have been introducing their partners to their family and friends in a somewhat strange manner. Sometimes they male sure their partners are never seen with them or shown to the world at all. I don't know if they're ashamed of them or afraid that their friends will steal them. In a world where there are a lot of husband and wife snatchers, it's scary to flaunt one's lover. But are these not just subterfuges to hide the real reasons? Is there anybody who's dating someone they're not proud of or not happy to be with?
The question I asked is a rhetorical question by the way. Because it doesn't make sense to have a partner that you're ashamed of. It's true that nowadays there are ulterior motives in relationships like money, status, popularity, and other benefits but there is one truth that will always be valid and it is that Love Conquers All - Amor Vincit Omnia. It's better to be alone than to be in and company. If you or your lover are guilty of this, it's better to stop and have a rethink of why you're in that relationship in the first place. Shalom.
