The Negative Impacts of Second-Guessing
I have this friend, and during our two years of friendship, we've grown very close to and fond of each other. The first time I saw this girl was at church and I admired her way of reading in church and behaving. On one Sunday afternoon, after mass, I mustered some courage to talk to her. From thence, we became friends and I started visiting once in a while. But at a certain point in time, I discovered that I was the only person checking on my friend (or that's what I thought it to be.) And I hate forcing myself on people. I would call and text and get less to no reciprocating. One day when calling, she didn't answer. And I waited... For a beep, or a message or a call back but got none. This was a natural selection criterion for me. It was clear - Conrad had been forcing himself on this girl all along. What else would make a girl miss your calls and not bother to text or call back? It was settled. I was already living like I'd never known her when she called me three days later at 11pm saying she was sorry for missing my calls and that she thought of getting back to me earlier but just forgot. I'd already assumed things for myself without even giving the benefit of doubt and that could've cost me an awesome friendship that I am still enjoying today. What are the negative impacts of second-guessing?
Google Online Dictionary defines second-guess as:
To anticipate or predict (someone's actions or thoughts) by guesswork.
Or
To criticize (someone or something) with hindsight.
Simply put, to criticize somebody or something without knowing the full story.
A lot of us are masters at second-guessing but we feel bad if people don't give us the benefit of doubt. It's hard to practice what we preach. But we all know that to receive, we ought to give.
But what are the things that make people to second-guess? Why's it so easy to second-guess? In my opinion, people second-guess because of intolerance, impatience, ego, past experiences or negative images they have of certain people and things.
Your friend might not reply to your message or pick up your call for one reason or the other and you'll be quick to assume that they're ignoring you or feeling big.
And this is just one example amongst a hundred others when second-guessing comes in ams might totally ruin a friendship.
There's this proverb that how's thus: "There are three sides of a story. Yours, his and the truth" And second-guessing doesn't even give you time to get to the second part of the story. You use only the first part, which is greatly flawed by your judgment, to decide on how you want things to be.
Second-guessing can:
1. Make you look real stupid.
2. Make you lose worthy people.
3. Make you take wrong decisions that you'll regret in future.
4. Make you have a negative impression of a lot of people without even knowing what transpired.
5. Make you have unnecessary enemies.
There's this golden rule that States that we should do unto others like we would love that it be done unto us. This, is a little rule that if well practiced, one could live a serene life. Next time when second-guessing, think about yourself. Would you have loved for people to jump to hasty conclusions without hearing your part of the story? I thought as much. Let's learn how to practice tolerance. We are all going through our own hells and all we need is a little love to wipe the tears off our cheeks.
