The Sick Person’s Caretaker: An Untold Trauma

Three years ago, I lost my aunt. And no death has ever pained me that much. I was in an impasse fe a long period. I mostly felt lost and abandoned. While I blamed myself for not praying enough for her, I also blamed her for not fighting hard and leaving me in this cruel world. This woman used to call me first born. I'd become used to her being around that I didn't want to imagine when she'd not be there - even when I heard she was dead, I thought it was a bad dream I'd wake from, but it wasn't so.

I have always envied my cousin for being the person who was by her side till he moment she gave up the ghost. She at least has the last images of her (though painful). She was with her from the period they went to the hospital until my aunt finally died. It was sad that we'd lost an aunt but I was sadder that I wasn't by her in her last days. Our aunt had become our mother and we called her "Sweetest".

During the period when our aunt was sick and even after her death, I never ever thought of asking my cousin how she felt. It seems her mental health had greatly been affected. She suddenly withdrew from us after our aunt died. Was it because of the trauma she experienced during that period? Or because she lost someone very close to her? Or both?

Truth is that we never pay attention to the caretaker of the sick person. We never know what they're going through... The stress, the trauma, the disillusionment... But they too suffer at some point. They even never recover from that experience - especially when the person they were taking care of dies.

So do you care about the sick person's caretaker? If not, you should. Most of them suffer in silence. Most of them need as much follow-up as the sick person.